Love makes no sense
by Frank S
Summary: What happens if you fall in love and the feelings are returned, but neither of you know how to express it? RenxPirka It's Finished at last!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, This is A RenxPirika, with VERY slight hints at YohxAnna. If you don't like the couple, don't read it. If you do, enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. I wish I did. I also wish I had a million dollars. And a corvette. And someone who understands me! WAHHHHH! composes self but I don't. 

It was a peaceful afternoon in the Flame Inn. Not too long after the Shaman fight had occurred, the SK gang (minus Ryu, because I can't stand him) had moved in with Yoh and Anna. By the SK gang, I mean Horo, Pirika, Faust, and Ren. (I know there's more, but unlike most people, I can't find any chaps of SK beyond the Shonen Jump ones! I'm sorry!) Getting back on track, it was a peaceful afternoon in the Flame Inn. Anna had Yoh preparing dinner already for some strange reason, and Horo being Horo, was still persisting in his attempts at getting "free samples".

"Cut it out." Yoh repeated as he smacked Horo on the head with a mixing spoon for the 5th time that minute. "You know the rules. We can't eat until Anna says."

"You know the rules..." Horo mocked in a high pitched tone as he made his way to the couch. " I swear Yoh, you let that woman lord over you on all fronts. It makes me embarrassed to be a man." Horo hopped onto the couch only to find himself sitting next to the scariest person within the household... Faust.

"Hello my dear blue haired friend." Faust acknowledged with a smile. "Have you made your decision on whether or not you will help me with my quest for further medical knowledge?"

Horo shuddered as he remembered the incident he had with Faust not long ago.

flashback  
Horo sat in the kitchen munching on an apple and reading one of his favorite comic books. Today was Saturday, and he intended to spend it lazing around, and avoiding work as much as possible. Suddenly, Faust sat next to Horo, wishing him a good morning.

"Good morning." Faust said smiling happily, which, as we all know, is hard to do when you're jacked up on morphine 24/7. NOT.

"Morning Faust." Horo responded, not looking up from his book for fear that it might become less intense if he looked away.

"I have been thinking", Faust stated, "about performing a new... experiment if you will, and I need someone to help me freeze the disembodied parts. You seem to know a lot about ice, and I was hoping you would help me to temporarily preserve my specimens until my shipment of formaldehyde arrives. It seems I have run out. So if this interests you, please let me know." With this, Faust stood up and walked to his lab/room, humming a German folk song to himself, and muttering things about body parts.

Horo, meanwhile, dropped his apple and comic book with his mouth agape. He seemed to be frothing at the mouth. "I think I'll go outside and see if Pirika needs any work done..." He muttered to himself sickly.

end flashback

"er... yeah... I thought about it all right." Horo smiled weakly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a dead possum to attend to."

"May I help?" Faust asked. "I am quite interested in animal body structure!"

"ah... no, it's best if I do this on my own..." Horo took this moment to hit top speed, and get to his room.

"Shizen!" Faust muttered. ( I believe that's German for shit.)

Yoh sighed and rolled his eyes. Although laid back, he still had a slight problem with the necromancer. Not only was he creepy... he was disturbing. "Doesn't that mean the same thing?" he thought to himself. Oh well, there could be worse.

At this point, Tao Ren decided to make himself known. "Afternoon, Asakura." He said as he made his way towards the fridge for a glass of milk. "Making dinner again? Anna must be pretty huffy today if she's having you do it this early."

"I heard that Tao!" Anna shouted from the other room. "Keep in mind who's house you're in!"

"Gomen Anna." The Tao shouted back, not really meaning it all that much. "I wonder how much longer you'll be able to take this, Yoh. Anna's an alright person I guess, but I still think she'd get on my nerves WAY too much."

"Yeah, well, I got used to it. Besides, we get along, and we're gonna be married soon anyway. She's sweet if you get to know her really."

Ren let out a small burp as he finished the milk and dropped the glass onto the floor. "Well, you won't catch me being bossed like that."

"TAO! PICK UP THAT GLASS!" Anna yelled from across the kitchen.

"Gomen, Anna! Gomen!" Ren quickly scooped up the glass and handed it to Yoh.

"Oh yeah, Ren. You're reeeeaaallly dominating aren't you?" Yoh chuckled.

"Shutup." Ren walked out of the room leaving a laughing Yoh behind.

Since for the moment, nothing seemed to be happening, Ren had decided on taking a walk outside. Kicking a stone down the path and keeping his eye on the ground rather than what was in front of him. At this same moment Pirika, the Ainu, was returning from a trip to the grocery. So far, things had gone all right for her. She had gotten the groceries without much trouble, and the Asakuras would be quite happy to know they had more food for this month. Carrying the many bags on her own, she couldn't see the purple haired boy on a collision course with her.

It happened in an instant.

WHAM! Groceries, Pirika, and Ren, went flying. And the insults soon followed after.

"Watch where you're going you baka"  
"Shut up Ainu"  
"Moron! Are you blind"  
"No, you're just too stupid to notice what's right in front of you"  
"Jerk"  
"Loudmouth"  
"Idiot"  
"Pathetic excuse for a living person"  
Pirika blinked. "Pointy head"  
"That insult sucked"  
"You don't deserve a good one!"

Realizing that this argument was getting them nowhere, Ren sighed. "Here, let me help clean this up." He bent down and started picking up the groceries.

Pirika was shocked. "Well, I didn't expect that. Thank you."

"It's a one time thing. Don't get excited."

She pouted. "C'mon Ren, cut the tough guy act! The Shaman fight's over! You don't have to be like this anymore."

Ren looked at her. "But I like being a jerk. Besides, if I was nice, what would I do with my spare time?"

"You could read books."

"I don't have any books here. They're in China."

"Watch TV."

Ren scooped up some veggies. "TV rots your brain."

"I like TV."

"And my point has been made."

Pirika threw a piece of garlic at him. Ren caught it. Pirika pushed him. Ren pushed back. Pirika shoved him again. Ren pushed even harder, and Pirika fell on her butt. She looked up at him pouting.

Tao Ren, you are so... so..."

"Sexy?" Ren finished for her.

Pirika blushed and threw dirt in his eyes standing up. "No you baka! You're so mean!"

Ren rubbed the dirt out of his eyes and squinted painfully. "That hurt you know." He grabbed her, and hoisted her over his shoulder.

"Ack! Stop! What are you doing you crazy Chinese shaman!" She pounded her fists on his back shrieking.

"Do you really think I'm mean?" Ren asked her.

"Yes. Now put me down!"

"I will. But you're way to flustered, so I'm going to help cool you off." Ren walked her towards a nearby creek, and promptly tossed her in.

She shrieked as the cool liquid splashed over her. The water was only knee deep, but she ended up sitting in it with half her body out of it, and the other half submerged. "TAO REN! You get over here right now and help me out!"

"Nope, there's groceries to be taken in. You sit there and cool down. It shouldn't take long."

"YOU BIG MEANIE!" She huffed, trying to hoist herself out, only succeeding in tripping and falling face first into the water.

"I'll see you at dinner!" He called, carrying the groceries in under one arm.

"AHHH!" Pirika groaned in anger. "He's such a self conceited little jerk! A self conceited jerk with a fairly nice body..." She blushed much to her frustration. "But he's still a self conceited jerk!"

"Hm..." Ren thought to himself. "She's not SO bad, even if she doesn't know how to shut up.

Well, that's it for the first chap. I'm waiting for reviews to publish the next chapter,so review if you wanna read on!Corrective criticism accepted, comments welcome, flames will be used to make hot dogs... Or something like that.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2! Ren's way OOC in this chap for some reason, so I understand if you leave me some corrective criticism. not too proud of this chapter. Oh well!

Disclaimer:I don't own Shaman King

A new day had risen, and the Flame Inn was just the same as it always was. Loud, obnoxious, snobby, laid back, and strict all rolled into one. Some might call it hell, but to the shamans, it was home. One particular Shaman was having a pain getting the smell of creek off of her.

"That stupid jerk! Does he have any idea how hard it is to clean creek gunk out of your hair!" Pirika whined, scrubbing away. She had taken 3 showers already and still felt dirty. After finishing up, she grabbed a towel and proceeded to dry off. Making her way out of her bathroom, she sighed and began to dry her hair off. Mistake number one was walking out of the bathroom. Mistake number two, was forgetting that there was no lock on her door.

"Ainu! Breakfast is ready!" The door slammed open. "if you don't hurry up it'll get..." Ren stopped and his eyes went white. "cold." He finished quietly.

Pirika, eyes and mouth opened wide with shock, stared at him. Her towel still up in at her hair, left her in a very... exposed position to say the least.

Ren couldn't help it. He was staring. But he had enough sense to ease slowly out the door and shut it. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap." Ren was shaking madly, his back to the door. "Okay, option number one, beg for mercy and never speak to her again. Option number two, apologize, and die. Option number three, run away like a coward, and live."

The door slammed open so hard, it flew off its hinges. Pirika stood over the shaking Ren, baseball bat in hand. "TAO REEEEEEEEENN!" She screamed.

"ALL THREE AT ONCE!" he decided. He took off running. "I'm sorry Pirika! Please forgive me!"

"DIEEE!" Pirika continued to chase him. By the way, she's wearing the towel, okay? No naked running.

Yoh, Anna, Horo, Faust, and Manta all sat at the table eating their breakfast, Yoh reading the paper. Suddenly Ren smashed into the table.

"HELP ME! SAVE ME FROM THE DEMON!" Ren screamed before running off again.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN RIP YOU APART TAO!" Pirika was quick to follow.

Faust raised his hand, "I call body!"

Anna sighed. "You are one messed up guy aren't you?"

Horo looked at Manta. "Was that..."

Manta looked at Horo. "Pirika chasing Ren in a towel with a baseball bat? Yeah."

Yoh looked at his paper. "A four letter word for idiot..."

Everyone but Yoh: "BAKA!"

Yoh gasped. "THANKS!"

Ren continued running as fast as he could. Until he finally ran out of energy. He collapsed on the ground panting. "So this is where the great Tao legacy ends." He muttered to himself. "I suppose Faust can have my body parts for later." He didn't even get to finish thinking before Pirika pounced onto him.

"Hello TAO." She smiled evilly relishing this moment. "Did you enjoy that view, cause it's going to be the last thing you ever see."

"If it makes you feel any better, it was an accident." He sighed, knowing that wouldn't help. "And it would be great if you'd stop sitting on me."

Pirika blushed and stood up. "Pervert. I'll kill you right now." She raised the bat, and stood over him.

Ren coughed a bit and his eyes widened. He could see up her towel. As much as he hated to admit it, he was enjoying this. Maybe there was a way out of this. "Hey, Ainu. Nice legs you've got there. Maybe you'd like to stand a bit more over my face? I can't quite see that well."

Pirika Blushed madly, squeezing her legs shut. "Pervert. You really need to shut your mouth, and watch what you're looking at."

"But I can't do anything about it." He smirked. This was working well. If he could get her flustered enough, she'd leave to go get properly dressed, and then he could escape. He sat up and grabbed her waist pulling her down on top of him. "I can't help it if you're beautiful." He whispered this hugging her against him. Inside, he was laughing maniacally.

Pirika's eyes widened and she blushed as she felt him pulling her onto him. "Beautiful?" She asked. "Thought you said you hated me."

"Well, I'm a pretty good liar." The maniacal laughter inside of Ren had suddenly died. No matter how much fun he was having, was starting to wonder exactly what was driving him. Looking at her, he realized she was very pretty. It was starting to get to him. "Damn it." He mentally scolded himself. "Calm down!" His thoughts were interrupted when he remembered his intent. He pressed his nose against her hair softly and inhaled. "You smell nice." He said smiling. He really meant it too. She did smell very good. 3 showers will do that after all.

Pirika was freaking out. She knew she shouldn't be letting him do this. He was just trying to get under her skin. But she couldn't help it. All the nice things he was saying, being in his arms like this, it was enough to make most girls go crazy. She snuggled against him much to his and her surprise and let out a sigh. "Ren Kun..."

Rens head shot back and he stopped breathing for a second. "P-Pirika...?" He was suddenly being overpowered by this moment. He began to realize something. For a long time now, the two of them had been "friends". Constantly bickering, but still getting a strange feeling in their gut when they were finished. Ren had never really noticed it before. Even now, it wasn't quite clear to him. He wasn't sure if he really had feelings for the blue haired girl he was holding, but at the moment, that was all he wanted.

Pirika was getting very comfortable in this position. She always had found him cute, but never thought anything of it. She suddenly realized something was really wrong with this picture and shoved herself off him, running toward the Inn as fast as possible.

Ren lay there, his arms sprawled out by his sides, looking into the sky for a minute. He slowly got up, made his way to the creek, slid into it, buried his head under the water and let out a very loud exasperated groan. Bubbles rose up all around his head. Right now, he REALLY needed a cold soak.

Pirika had quickly made her way into the bathroom and had locked herself in. Clutching her hand to her chest and shaking silently. What the hell had just happened!

er... yeah. wrote this at like, 12:00 AM so whatever. not as good as I expected. Review anyway! The next chapters will be better! I promise!


	3. Chapter 3

Oh my god! So many reviews already! Thank you thank you! I will answer tothem soon! Yep, the last chapter was quite strange. I know. Don't worry, it gets weirder. A little bit OOC, once again, from Rens character. Not as much as last time though. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. Don't rub it in.

Yoh, Anna, Faust, and Manta were all placing bets on what happened. Horo, on the other hand, was busy trying to break into Rens room so he couldkill him.

"Ren! Get out here you bastard and face me like a man!" Horo screamed, pounding on his door.

"Shutup." Came the muffled reply. "Or I'll kill you."

"Dammit Ren! Don't fuck around with me! What the hell did you do to my sister!"

"Nothing that concerns you, stupid overprotective bastard."

"I'm only like this because she's my sister! What did you do to her!"

Ren decided now what be a good time to have some fun. "Well, if you must know, we were outside, and I screwed her senseless.

"WHAT!" Horo screamed outside the door. "Get out here now! I'm going to tear you apart!"

"And, by the way, I'm sure you'll be happy to know she's carrying the next ancestor to the great Tao name."

"AGGGH! MY SISTER IS CARRYING SATAN SPAWN! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Ren chuckled. He was enjoying every second of this, but he was getting tired. He needed some time to go think. He grabbed a towel and a swim suit, and made his way past a fuming Horo, to the spa. Upon his arrival, he let himself sink into the warm water sighing as it engulfed him. He lay there, relaxing until he sensed a familiar presence.

"Hello Asakura." He sighed.

"Hey Ren." Yoh dropped into the water next to him. "Horo doesn't seem all too happy. What's the commotion about?"

"Well, he's overprotective for one thing. And secondly, he thinks Pirika and I..."

"You don't need to finish that sentence." Yoh stated. "We all heard him clearly. What is going on between you two anyway?"

"Nothing."

"Then why was she chasing you in a towel? And when you came back, you were soaking wet, and she seemed really flustered."

"I walked in on her when she was changing, she chased me down, I fell into a creek. She seemed pretty satisfied with that, and left." He tactfully lied.

"Uh huh... well, it isn't any of my business."

"Damn right it isn't."

"If I didn't know any better though, I'd say you two were bickering like a couple. It seems like it anyway. Maybe that's why Horo is always so suspicious."

Ren's face flushed and he growled. "Bullshit. The day I start liking that loudmouth Ainu, is the day Horo apologizes for the way he treats me."

"And what happens when that day comes?" Yoh asked, getting up and walking away.

"Well... Um... GET BACK HERE!" Ren shouted after him.

"Ren, some advice, apologize first."

"Hmph. I already did that. She wasn't listening all too well."

"I really don't call you screaming sorry while running away apologizing, but whatever. See you Ren." With that, he walked out of the spa, leaving the Chinese boy to his thoughts.

"Pah. Idiot slacker. He has no idea who I'm dealing with. And yet, maybe he does. After all, he puts up with Anna, doesn't he?" Ren sighed and realized Yoh was right, although he hated to admit it. "I guess I should go and apologize huh?" He asked himself.

Pirka, meanwhile, was still recuperating from the days events. She had spent most of the day on her bed, wondering what to do now. She had feelings for the Tao, but she wasn't so sure they were returned. "Darn it! Does he realize what he's doing to me!" She asked no one in particular. "I like him, but he's such an unfeeling jerk!" Now pacing back and forth, she wasn't sure what to think. Hearing a knock on her door, she composed herself and quickly answered it. She didn't expect what she saw. "Ren?"

Ren was quick to put his foot in the doorframe, knowing what was coming. "Hey... Pirka... about what happened today..." SLAM! The door shut on Ren's foot causing him to wince. "Don't do that. I wanted to apologize for walking in on you and all..." SLAM! Once again, the door hit his foot. "Really... that isn't very enjoyable... stop please...hear me out..." WHAM! Yet, again his foot was smashed. At this he grabbed her hand and wrapped his fingers in hers. "Don't do that again." He pushed her into her room, the door shutting behind them.

"What the hell do you want you pervert?" Pirka glared at him. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I told you, I want to apologize. But so far, you haven't granted me the pleasure. So here it is. I'm sorry."

Pirka slapped him.

"What was that for!" Ren yelled. "I apologized didn't I!"

"That was for walking in on me, and looking up my towel you pervert! And I still owe you one, so hold still!" She brought her hand back again, but Ren reached out and grabbed it.

"Don't. Just calm down alright?"

"Let me go dammit!" Pirka growled at him.

"No." Ren pulled her closer to him. He knew what he was about to do was probably the stupidest and most ridiculous thing he could do. Looking her square in the eye, he made one request. "Dance with me."

Pirka stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"I said dance with me. You know how to dance don't you?"

"Why the hell would I dance with you! You probably don't know how to dance!"

"I'm a Tao." Ren took a few strides, leading her across the floor. "All Tao's are good dancers."

Pirka decided to play along for a bit. She pulled him up to her face, staring right into his eyes. "They must have made an exception for you. You suck at dancing."

Ren spun her out a bit, and pulled her back into him, catching her roughly, making her yelp. "So far you haven't showed any talent, so I wouldn't be talking." He whispered this into her ear, making her shiver a bit.

She stood straight, bringing her foot down onto his toe, making him stand up with her. "Who said you were leading?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him, "I did."

Pirka let out a little cry, and blushed when he stared at her. He was strong, she knew that now for sure. And this was very awkward, being this close to him. "R-Ren... What are you doing..."

He nuzzled his hair against her neck. "I'm apologizing. What does it look like?" He nipped at her neck lightly, making her whimper. "Pirka, I think maybe now would be a good time to tell you something..." He leaned in closer to her, mere centimeters from her face. She could feel his breath against her.

"What's that exactly Ren?" She was nervous. What was happening here? Seconds ago, she wanted to kill him, and now she wanted to kiss him. She leaned in closer to him, and their lips brushed together.

Ren pulled away suddenly. "Dinner's ready." He walked out of the room, leaving Pirka in a daze. As he shut the door, he let out a huge sigh. This wasn't easy. He wanted her. He knew that. But now wasn't the time. Behind the door, he heard a loud, frustrated "EEEERRRRRGGGGHHH!

Yup, Third chapter was long. That's alright though. Don't worry, I won't prolong the relationship much longer. (Not)


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Shaman King. 

During dinner, it was obvious that two shamans in particularwere trying to avoid each other on all fronts.

"Onni-Chan, will you please pass the butter?" Pirka asked politely.

"But, I'm clear across the table, besides REN'S closer, have him do it." Horo stated, putting a hateful emphasis on the Ren.

Pirka looked at Ren for a minute and then turned back to Horo. "JUST GIVE ME THE BUTTER DAMMIT!"

"Ack! Okay okay!" Horo quickly ran over to where the butter was and handed it to her.

"Thank you Horo!" Pirka smiled sweetly.

Both Ren and Horo rolled their eyes and then glared at each other.

"Well," Yoh stood up, "I'm going on a walk. Anna, you coming with?"

"Sure." Anna got up, already understanding that there was work to be done with this situation, and time alone might help.

"Guess I'll go." Manta got up himself, and followed after them.

"It seems to be a wonderful night to walk. Nein? I shall accompany you." Faust stood up.

Horo, on the other hand, sat staring at Ren.

"YOU'RE COMING TOO!" all four shouted, Anna grabbing him by the ear and yanking him out the door.

"OW OW! Let go! NOOOO!" Horo wailed as he was dragged out the door. It slammed shut behind them.

Ren coughed. Pirka "hmmed".

"I'm going to go train." Ren got up excusing himself, leaving Pirka to sit. He grabbed his Kwan Do, and made his way outside. He decided on the usual. 200 spear attacks, 100 push-ups, and 150 sit-ups. Immediately, he got started. The Shaman fight may have ended, but he was still determined to one-up Yoh.

Pirka watched through the window, absent-mindedly staring at him as he thrashed about. He was very well-built and, once again, her thoughts began to wander. "Wow... he really is kind of cute. I wonder how long it took to build a form like that. How strong is he really? How much can he bench? How big is his..." Not finishing that sentence, Pirka shook her head in a lame attempt to rid herself of such thoughts. "Dirty mind!" She yelled to herself. "Dirty mind!" He was so strong, and he never let anyone in. It just intrigued her, and attracted her to him more. She couldn't help but wonder if this seemingly invincible boy had any weaknesses. Smiling devilishly, she slipped away from the table, wriggling across the floor like a snake toward his room.

Opening the door, she sighed. His room was just as she pictured it. Dark, gloomy, and a lot of training equipment. Rummaging around, she hoped to find something that would give her and edge on the Tao. Hmmm... Black silk sheets. She was pretty sure most guys didn't have silk sheets. They were too cool for that. Pirka sat on the bed. Wow, these were comfortable! She snuggled against them and sighed. These felt really nice. Maybe she would have to steal them. She suddenly felt something press against the small of her back. Letting a little yelp, she sat up, and reached under the covers. Her eyes widened with glee as she got a good look at it. This... This was far beyond what she had expected. Tao Ren, the almighty ruler of the clan, kept a diary. She cracked it open.

Somewhere outside the inn, Ren's hair twitched. He ignored it, and continued his training.

Pirka smiled gleefully as she read through the pages. Even though itcontained all of his likes and dislikes,most words were very evasive from the actual topic. It wasalmost as though he was making sure that if his diary was discovered, no one would really be sure what he meant. She sighed, almost giving up when one thing caught her eye. "Oh my god..." she whispered. Excitement rising , she began to dance happily with herself. "Oh, mister Tao. If only you knew what I had planned!" She quickly replaced the book, and scurried out the door, shutting it behind her.

About an hour later, the "almighty" Ren Tao opened the door to his sanctuary, and shut it. He stripped himself of his clothes and, wrapping a towel around himself, was heading to the shower. He stopped abruptly, when a familiar scent passed him. It smelled like... like... Ainu. His teeth gritted together and his eyes squinted as he looked at his sheets. A few strands of Blue Hair lay upon them. "Ainu... today you die..." He grabbed his spear yet again, pulled a pair of pants on and stomped out of the room. He saw Pirka walking down the hall, humming to herself. His eyes widened and he charged at her. "AINU!"

Pirka let out a shriek and turned to run but ran smack into a wall instead. Dropping to the floor, she looked up to see Rens spear pointed in her face.

"Ainu..." There was venom in his voice, and his muscles were tensing and pulsating rapidly, his body dripping with sweat.

"If not for the fact that he has that spear pointed on me," she thought, "I would find this extremely sexy."

He crouched down so that his face was next to hers, his spear helping to prop him up. He pulled out two strands of blue hair and stuck them in her face. "Do you know what this is?" He snarled.

"B-b-blue hair?" She stammered, getting more and more scared by the second.

"Yes. And what kind of people here have blue hair?" He smiled.

"T-T-The Ainu..." She gulped. Shit, she must've lost some hair in his room.

"So, you must know what I'm wondering... Right?"

"Uh... n-n-no Ren... What's that?" She knew he easily had to be 3 times stronger than her, if not 10. She now was saying a silent prayer to herself.

"I want to know..." Ren began, his face now right next to hers, their noses barely touching. "I want to know where I might find your brother."

Pirka was stunned. "He... I'm not sure..."

"Very well. If you see him, do tell him to come visit me. I look forward to it." Ren stood up, helping her to her feet. "You shouldn't be sitting on the ground like that. You'll catch cold."

Pirka shakily stood up. "T-Thank you..." Meaning it more towards the fates, and not Ren. She looked him in the eyes... and punched him. "YOU ASSHOLE! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" She turned and ran off, locking herself in her room. "You scared the shit out of me... and you'll pay..." She snarled to herself. Tomorrow would be interesting indeed.

As for the rest of the gang, they too were scheming something. More along the lines of getting the Ainu, and the Tao together though.

"Well, It's obvious they have feelings for each other. They're always arguing about everything. Trying to find excuses to talk and be together." Anna stated simply.

"Yeah, but I don't think they even know it." Yoh said. "If they did, I'm sure they already would be a couple."

"They are a lot alike aren't they?" Manta questioned. "Both of em are stubborn, they think highly of themselves, and they're very protective."

"Yes," Faust sighed. "They remind me of my love with Eliza. Only without the sickness, death, and madness."

Everyone stared at him until Horo broke the silence.

"Don't I get a say in this! She's my sister, and I say they can't be together!"

"You dare to try and interfere with true love!" Faust shouted. "I shall..."

"Yes, Yes, I know. 'Carve out my wicked tongue and preserve it in formaldehyde.'" Horo finished for him.

Faust mumbled and continued walking.

Yoh sighed. "I still think we should help them get together. After all, that's what we did for you and Tamao, isn't it Horo?" He smiled widely.

"uh... yeah... I said never to speak of that again." Horo muttered, remembering how the ganag hadtrickedthem into meeting each other at the same place for a "Blind date" that never showed up. They both were told they had dates and, of course, when neither ofthe said"dates" appeared, they had dinner with each other. The rest there is history, folks.

"Well," Faust started, "I have an idea."

"Does it have anything to do with the dismembering of ones body?" Manta asked sarcastically.

"NO!" Faust shouted defensively. He paused for a moment and then drooped his head. "Yes..."

"Then we aren't doing your idea."

"Well, I have one. We can always try this..." Yoh leaned in and whispered his plan to all of them. All agreed, save that of Horo Horo, who was still pissed off.

"Well then," Anna stated, "Should we go get everything ready?"

Everyone cheered. Except for Horo. He went off to gag himself.

HA HA! Cliffie! what are they planning! What is Rens weakness! Why do people keep telling me I need to update faster whenI put a new chapter in every day! Stop it!


	5. Chapter 5

I DON'T OWN SHAMAN KING. I WISH I DID. 

Pirka awoke the next day, refreshed and ready for the coming excitement she would bring Ren. (not that kind of excitement.) She stretched out, took a shower, dressed, and made her way through the kitchen, making sure to stop by Ren who was "enjoying" his breakfast of cold cereal, and a biscuit. His head was limped over, and his hair was a mess. She guessed he had stayed up quite late, waiting for Horo. It turned out that her brother had decided to stay at Tamaos for some reason.

She did her best to hold back her laughter, and rather decided to surprise him. "Good Morning Ren Kun!" She smiled sweetly. "How's my favorite shaman this morning?"

"Mmphkrblk..." Ren mumbled sleepily, his mouth full of cereal.

"And how late were you up last night?" She asked leaning next to his slumped over body.

"Mmphkrblk..." Once again, the shaman mumbled something impossible to understand.

"Well, I'm going out to do some shopping! I'll be back soon Ren Kun!" With that she kissed his cheek, grabbed his biscuit, and happily skipped away humming to herself.

Tao Ren blinked a few times, shook his head, blushed and collapsed into his cereal snoring. Bubbles rose up from the milk and he continued to mumble random somethings. Faust walked by, looked at him for a minute, called him a dumkopf, and walked off to find some food.  
Pirka giggled to herself as she made her way to the store. Once inside, she took her time picking out just the right thing to drive Ren up a wall. After choosing the right package, she payed the clerk, and grabbed some accessories. Quickly she returned to the Inn, and placed a box with a tag that read: To My dear friend Ren, in his room. She then shook him awake,(he was still asleep, only now he had collapsed on the floor with the bowl on his head.) and waited for the fireworks to begin.

She didn't have long to wait.

Ren made his way to his room sleepily, and was surprised to find a package on his bed. Vowing to kill whoever it was that dared to enter this time, he approached the box, and read the tag aloud. "To my dear friend, Ren." He let out a hmph, and slowly opened the box.

An ear-shattering scream echoed throughout the inn. "OH MY GOD! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

Pirka immediately ran to Rens room and looked into it. She didn't see him. At least until she looked up. The Great almighty Tao Ren was clinging to his ceiling fan. "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CRUEL JOKE IS THIS!"

"You don't like it?" Pirka looked innocent and scooped up the package. "But he's so adorable!" In her hands was none other than the one thing Ren feared the most. A kitten.

The kitten looked up at Ren and let out a mew.

Ren screamed. "Get that spawn of hell out of here! I can't stand cats!"

"You hate cats?" Pirka asked. "I never would've thought! I really thought you'd love it!"

"Well you thought wrong! Get it out of here! I had a bad experience with a cat once!"

Flashback

A young Ren sat outside his estate, running around outside and squishing bugs. His mother called for him and he ran up to her happily. "Mommy, I killed more than 50 bugs today!"

"Good for you honey. Now come inside. Mommy has a present for you."

Ren hurried inside and smiled widely. "What is it Mommy?"

His mother handed him a white kitten with black spots. Those two black spots happened to be right above its eyes, giving them the look of horns. (I actually knew a cat that looked like this.) "His name is Damion!" His mother said happily.

"Hi Damion!" Ren reached out to pet the kitten.

The kitten stared at him for a second, and then attacked Ren.

"AGGGHHHH! HELP ME MOMMY!" Ren took off running from the kitten, who was now attempting to gnaw off his ears. The next day the kitten ran away, but Ren was still emotionally scarred forever.  
End Flashback

"But it's already registered under your name!"

"I don't care! You take care of it!"

"All right Tao, I'll make a deal. I'll take care of it, but you have to spend at least one hour a day playing with him!"

"Excuse me! What makes you think you have the right to boss me around, you damn Ainu!"

"Because, If you don't, you'll have to take care of him all by yourself! And we wouldn't want that would we now... um...Ren, what should we name him?"

"Dead meat, Carrion, Roadkill, all excellent names if you ask me."

"Well then, Smokey it is!" Pirka smiled.

"Smokey! What kind of name is that!"

"One that doesn't associate with death." Pirka huffed. "Besides, you don't have any reason to care right?"

Damn, he hated it when she was right. "Alright fine, I'll keep up that deal. But hear this, I refuse to spend any more than one hour with it a day!"

"Fine. You can start right now." Pirka plopped the kitten down on his bed.

"Hey! Wait! You can't just leave me here with him!"

"I can, and I will. Have a good day! See you in an hour! And remember, hugging cats doubles your life span!" With that, she shut the door, and walked off.

Ren looked down at the kitten, who was looking at him, seemingly very interested as to how he got up on the ceiling. "What are you looking at?" Ren asked it.

The kitten, being a kitten, merely rolled over and stared at him as if to say, "love me!"

Ren let out a sigh of disgust and dropped off of the ceiling fan. "I don't suppose you plan on going anywhere do you?" Ren asked it. He lay down on the bed next to it, and sighed. "Why can't I ever get a break around here?"

The kitten got off its back and made it's way over to Ren. He had his eyes closed, so he didn't notice until the kitten started batting at the point of his hair.

"Will you cut that out!" Ren shouted at the kitten, who just stared at him and returned to his business with Ren's hair. He groaned. "Apparently not." looking around the room, he suddenly decided it would be better to escape now while he still could. He opened his window, tossed the kitten onto the bed, and jumped out... Only to land in an inflatable pool.

"AHA!" Pirka popped out from behind a nearby bush. "I knew you couldn't keep your end of the bargain, so I strategically placed a pool by your window in case you tried something like this!" Giving a happy little smile, she held up a V for victory sign.

"How about getting me out of here so I can go finish with your damn kitten then?" Ren growled.

"Fine. But don't expect me to help you dry off, you do that on your own." She said, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He smirked and yanked her into the pool with him. She let out a shriek as she hit the water. "Now you see, you shouldn't have trusted me there." He smiled.

"REN TAO! You jerk!" Pirka tried to pull herself out, but fell back in, and turned around to face him. "Why the heck did you do that!"

"Well, just like you, I was thinking strategically." He smiled knowing this was the only chance he would have today to get her frustrated. "And besides, I wanted to have you in here with me." He moved closer to her.

"Oh no," Pirka thought to herself. "This is my day Tao. No one's gonna ruin it like this." She leaned into him much harder than she intended, backing him into the pools side. "Funny," she whispered in a seductive voice. "I was thinking the same thing."

Ren's eyes widened. This wasn't something he had esxpected.

Pirka proceeded to wrap her arms around Rens neck, and her legs around his torso. "You know how good you look when you're wet?" She smiled at him. She had to admit she was comfortable like this, but it was payback. "That's what it is. Payback. Nothing more, nothing less. Payback." She constantly reminded herself.

Ren wasn't going to give up with a fight though. "I was going to say the same thing to you. But you know what one difference is between you and me?"

"Mmm... what's that?" She asked, twirling her finger against his chest.

"For one, you look a hell of a lot better than me when you're wet." She blushed slightly. "And for two..." He reached under and grabbed her rear, lifting her up more so his mouth was by her neck, which caused her to gasp in surprise. "You're very, very sensitive." He let his lips brush against her neck as he said this, and he quickly transferred that into small kisses against her shoulder blades, and the line of her neck.

Pirka let out a little sigh, and decided to make sure she got the last laugh here. "True, but most boys have trouble controlling themselves in situations like this..." She hitched herself up more, so that Rens face became buried against her chest. She heard him let out a muffled noise, but simply pressed against him more.

Ren finally decided enough was enough and he shoved her off him and jumped out of the pool. "I'll go take care of that cat now."

"Ah, so you could get up on your own after all." Pirka smirked at him. She knew he could tell he had lost this little bout, and that was getting to him. She also knew she was glad he had jumped out. That was a little too awkward.

"Oh shutup, Ainu. You always have to have the last word." Ren walked off to go attend to the kitten.

"And I thought you were more of a man Tao Ren!"

"I am. I just don't think you're worth it." He disappeared around the corner and immediately broke into a run, hoping that no one would notice his "predicament."

Pirka sighed. She wondered if there was any chance they'd ever be doing more than trying to get each other frustrated. "He's just so complicated!" She sighed to herself, removing herself from the pool.

Ren found himself still dealing with the problem of his hormones. "Damn Ainu... Damn her for being so beautiful. Damn her for getting so intimate. Damn me for getting so intimate. Damn everything!" The kitten nuzzled against Rens side. "Damn cat."

Well, I updated today. Happy? I couldn't update yesterday and, lo and behold, not one review all day! so, get me ten more reviews, and I'll put chapter 6 out. It's finished and waiting... Ha! anyway, review if you want more.


	6. Chapter 6

All right, 8 reviews is good enough for me. Here is the 6th chapter! Without a dirty Ren and Pirka scene! This is one of my better chaps in my opinion. ON WITH THE FIC!

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah I blah don't blah own blah shaman king blahdee blahdee shit PPPBBTHH

Ren stared hard out of the window in his room. The newly aquired kitten sat beside him, nuzzling his hand. Ren really didn't mind all too much anymore. If he just gave it attention, it would shut up and leave him alone. It was about a week after the pool incident had taken place. Ren still hadn't managed to come to terms with himself about what he did, and how he and Pirka had acted. He jumped when he heard a voice behind him.

"Still all worked up over Pirka eh? You're too soft Tao."

Ren never looked away from the window. He knew who it was. He sounded exactly like Yoh, looked like Yoh, and had almost the same personality, aside from the fact that Yoh never murdered a crap load of people. "How the hell do you know about Pirka?"

Hao smiled widely. "I have my ways."

Jeez, how does he do that? How does he always know what everyone is doing? Why am I talking to myself? Ren continued to ask himself pointless questions until Hao sat beside him and began to pet the Smokey.

"Ren, you need to face facts. You like her." Hao scratched the kitten behind its ears. "Cute cat."

"You want it?" Ren mumbled. He turned to face Hao. "What would you know about my feelings anyway?"

"It's not too hard to figure out. You always argue with her over the stupidest things. Talk about lame." Hao smirked at him. "You need to talk to her without arguing for once. Try it. It won't be as hard as you think."

"You don't know what I think."

"No, I suppose that's Annas job eh?" Hao chuckled and looked at him a bit more seriously. "But seriously, you need to talk to her."

"I refuse." Ren stated simply.

"Fine." Hao said, giving up a little TOO easily. "In due time though, you won't have a choice. Then what will you do?"

Ren just mumbled to himself as Hao left. Goddamn I hate that guy. He's just so frigging annoying!

Hao smiled happily as he walked away, leaving Ren to drown in his own anger. He made his way up to a random wall and knocked on it to the beat of "Mary Had a Little Lamb." The wall slid open smoke rolling out of it, and many lights flashed in a very exciting and cool way. Hao smiled. "I never get tired of that." Behind the door was a large list that was labeled: People I need to Embarrass and or Humiliate. He reached out and marked off Rens name. "And a check mark for today!" Hao whistled a tune to himself as he skipped off to go humiliate and or embarrass someone else.

Yoh, Anna, and company were busy working out all the details for their plan.

"Okay, now... what we need...Tamao! Go contact Jun and get her down her asap! Faust, you know a lot about romance. get the most romantic things you can find anywhere in this area! I don't care what. Food, decorations, whatever. Just make sure they're within grasp okay? Lyserg, find the best place for peace, quiet, and tranquility. These two can NOT be disturbed! Jeanne, I need you to find the best torture chair that will hold someone in place, but not kill them."

"Yes Ma'm!" all said shamans ran off to do their duties.

"Ryu!" Anna pointed to him. For what reason Ryu was there, she wasn't sure.

"Yes Boss!" Ryu shouted happily. "What can I do to help you?"

"Go stand in that corner."

"Stand in a corner? B-But... I thought... you needed my help..."

"Sorry Ryu. No one really likes you. we just pretend to."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ryu cried as he stood in the corner.

"Manta! Bring me a soda!"

Manta sighed and walked off to get a soda.

"Yoh! Compliment me on my dress!"

"Uh... what? Why?"

"Did I tell you ask questions! Start complimenting!"

"Um... okay... your dress looks very nice, it goes well with your bandanna, and it's very... um... black?"

"Good. Now rub my feet. All this bossing around tires me."

"Sigh... yes Anna." Yoh began to rub her feet.

"Ah... my plan is so wonderful." Anna mused to herself.

"But it was my plan..." Yoh whimpered.

SLAP! "RUB MY FEET SLAVE!"

"Yes Anna..."

"You know, for a worthless fiance', you aren't all too bad. Maybe I'll give you a reward tonight..." Anna smiled at him seductively.

"Really!" Yoh perked up as his thoughts wandered off to the land of dirty pervertedness.

"NO!" SLAP! "I was just testing you, and you FAIL! And you know what happens to bad little boys who fail..."

"You give them cookies?"

"NO! They do the electric chair for 10 hours!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"YEEEEEEES!"

"Fine." Yoh began to do the electric chair, crying anime style.

Pirka, meanwhile, sat in her room fiddling with her hair. "I'm sure glad Ren has learned to get along with Smokey. Poor kitten, having to put up with a person like Ren... Maybe I should go check on them." She made her way to the room, and was shocked to hear happy noises from the other side. She cracked the door open just enough to see...

Ren, sitting under a dresser, was moving his hair around for Smokey, who was sitting on top of the dresser. Smokey was going crazy. Constantly chasing after the tongari. "You know, for a worthless cat, you aren't so bad." Ren let out a chuckle, but his eyes widened when he realized Smokeys claws were tangled in his hair. Looking up at the cat, he jumped up and attempted to pry him off. "No! Get off! You can't be caught in there! nooo!" Ren finally pried him off, and fell to the ground in pain. The cat still clung to him with it's hair sticking up, which reminded Pirka of Ren.

"KAWAII!"She whispered to herself happily, and skipped away. "That was so cute!" Pirka found herself whistling a happy tune. (Sound familiar?) Little did she or Ren know, they were both in for a big surprise.

MUAHAH! I still managed to elude the surprise! HA HA! keep on reviewing, and I shall keep writing! Send me a mail directly at: It's way easier to reply to. thanks! hope you like it!


	7. sorry for late update!

Okay, first off, I want to apologize for the long wait on updating. my computer broke down, and I couldn't do jack for a week. I have it up and running, so production on the next chap is starting right away. expect it within the next 3 days. sorry for the wait.

I'm also going to start working on a much bigger story soon, so keep an eye out for it!

With best regards,

Frank S.


	8. Chapter 7

WHOOOO boy! I know it's been forever since I updated! I got stuff I've had to deal with and all. So, anyway, I think I should get typing now! I've made you wait long enough. 

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Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. But, that doesn't mean I don't own Shaman King GN's #1-4!

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Ren sighed to himself. This was utterly ridiculous. How could she stick him with the damn cat for the whole afternoon! This was just cruel and unusual. He'd much rather be out training, or hanging out with Yoh and Horo. Wait... Did he say Horo? Oh good lord. This was worse than he thought. His thoughts were interrupted shortly.

"REN! Come down here! I have something to show you!" This was Yoh's voice, thank the lord. An excuse to get away. "Bring the cat too!"

Damn. Oh well, he was getting kind of used to it. Even going so far as to let it chase after his tongari. What exactly is the matter with me? He had asked himself this question as he made his way down the hall. Upon reaching his destination, he simply gaped at what he saw.

Every single person who took residence in the inn were staring at him. Some with evil grins, others slightly worried about what he might do to them.

"Pardon me for asking... but, what is going on here!" Ren was a little worried about the way some of them were looking at him. Mostly though, he was worried about the fact that Hao was there. Why was he there? Ren didn't know, and that's what scared him.

With the cool and calm of a natural con-man, Hao walked toward Ren and, with an evil smirk, grabbed him and tossed him into the nearby basement. "Sorry,Ren! But, this is necessary to take care of your problem! Besides..." He looked over at Anna and smiled at her, raising an eyebrow. "How could I refuse a request from someone as beautiful as you?"

SLAP.

As if we never saw that coming... Everyone thought at once.

"You know, you really need to cool down." Anna snarled at him. "I don't care how much you look like Yoh, you could never be like him."

"Awww! Anna, you mean you love me!" Yoh smiled at her and hugged her.

"That might be the case but...that doesn't mean I can't beat the crap out of you for hugging me."

A few seconds later...

Yoh lay in a bloody heap, everyone staring at him wondering if he would be ok.

"Will he be okay?" Manta asked.

Yoh smiled. "She likes me!"

Anna's foot promptly adorned his face and, keeping a calm face, she told him to shut up.

"Anyway, what do we do now? Ren's in the basement..." Hao pointed his thumb in the direction of the door, which was shaking and rattling as Ren tried to break it down to no avail. "The talismans from Jun are in place so Ren can't use his ghost to break out..." A huge explosion, followed by a pained scream and a curse from Ren rang from behind the door. "Pirka's locked in the basement..." A scream of terror arose from the basement. "And they should be noticing the romantic setup, courtesy of Faust in... 3...2...1..."

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS ALL OF THIS!"

"Bingo. And lastly, Horo is locked in the torture chair so he won't interfere..."

Horo rocked back an forth in the chair, which had spikes on the back in order to keep him from trying to move too much screaming out, "LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I'LL KILL HIM! ARRRGGGGGHHH!" At this point, he lost balance and fell over backwards. There was a long silence, followed by something that sounded like a mix between a scream, and a gurgle. Tamao was quick to help Horo back up.

"You need to hold still! I can't get you out, and you'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that!" Tamao worriedly pleaded with Horo. "Your sister will be fine! (I hope) and this will all be over soon!"

"What was that last thing?"

"It will all be over soon."

"No, before that."

"Your sister will be fine."

"No, after that, but before the last part."

"Nothing!" Tamao quickly scurried off.

"Wait! Come back! Noooooooooo!"

"Everything seems to be in order... So now what?" Hao asked, now completely bored.

"Let's go play Dance Dance Revolution!" Chocolove shouted to everyone.

Everyone cheered, and followed him out. Except Horo. Tamao was forced to drag him out behind her.

Meanwhile, in the basement, Ren continued to kick the door angrily. "Let me the hell out of here! I don't want to be locked in here with her! Damn you all!"

"You can give up any time. We aren't going anywhere until we resolve this 'Problem'." Pirka rolled her eyes. "They're hell bent on what they want us to do." She sighed. "You do know why we're down here, right?"

Ren shook his head.

She sighed again. "They want us to get together."

Ren coughed and about choked on his own spit. "ASAKURA! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Yoh screamed back from the DDR room. "But I should be punished for murdering all of these guys in DDR! WHOO!"

"Damn him..." Ren muttered.

"Well, it could be worse." Pirka said. "We could be caught in a fiery burning hell, and locked down here with no way out."

"Yes. Let's be glad THAT isn't the case." Ren rolled his eyes. "Honestly! How can you be so stupid! What are the chances of this thing setting on fire!"

"Point taken. But right now, I'm hungry. Let's eat."

"With all this romantic garbage they have for us to eat!"

"It's not that bad."

"They have champagne, Pirka! CHAMPAGNE!"

"So? It's not like that's too romantic."

"They have expensive Roses as a centerpiece Pirka! EXPENSIVE ROSES!"

"I think it makes a great centerpiece."

"They have balloons that read, 'Ren and Pirka forever', Pirka! BALLOONS!"

"Okay, that is kind of creepy."

"YOU SEE! THEY'RE TRYING TO CONFUSE US PIRKA! Don't let them!" Ren grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "YOU CAN'T LET THEM HYPNOTIZE YOU! GYAGGH!"

SLAP!

Ren tottered back a bit from the force of her slap. "You hit me!"

"Well, duh. You were losing it." She glowered at him. "Now just sit down, shutup, and eat."

"I don't wanna."

"SIT DOWN!"

Ren sat.

"That's better. Now, please pass the champagne."

Ren grumbled and shoved the champagne towards her. "Be glad I'm even putting up with this." He grabbed a piece of bread and began to chew it slowly.

"Chew with your mouth closed." Pirka frowned at him. "That's disgusting."

"What if I don't feel like it?" Ren asked her.

"Then I'll shove this bottle down your throat."

"I'd like to see you try."

A few seconds later...

"Isn't this such a nice dinner, Ren?" Pirka smiled as she chewed some of her food.

"MMPPH! MMPH! MMMMMPPPPHHH!" Ren shook back and forth in the chair that Pirka had tied him too, with a bottle stuck in his mouth.

"I knew you'd agree!" Pirka smiled happily.

Fin of chapter

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Yes. I enjoyed writing this one. Kept the romance to a minimum, and had more time for humor. I'm gonna continue the plan in the next chap. I was told by a certain reviewer to take my time, and worry about quality. So that's what I will do.

On another note... I cannot believe I got more than 50 reviews! This is great! If I get this many reviews now, I can't wait to see what I get for my next fic, which will be a action/romance. Here's the summary.

Yoh, Ren, and Horo are 3 of the most powerful shamans on the planet. Yoh of course is the Shaman King, and Ren and Horo are his closet allies. However, as we all know, every man must have someone to care for and love. Yoh of course, is planning on marrying his fiancee' Anna. Ren, is finding himself becoming more and more interested in Horo's sister, and Horo finds himself becoming infatuated with the Asakura's most loyal student, Tamao. All is well, until word reaches them that a group of powerful shamans are threatening to destroy all of Yoh's friends and family in order to overthrow him and become Shaman Kings themselves. Knowing their duty, Ren, Horo, and Yoh must go and aid their friends in the defeat of this new threat. Unfortunately, doing this means possibly losing their lives, and their loves. Will they survive and return to the ones they care for? Or will they be destroyed, and leave the world to plunge into darkness and despair? Find out in the work of fanfiction, Life or Love.

This story is gonna be friggin huge, friggin awesome, and it'll take friggin FOREVER to finish. So don't expect it to begin publication for a while. Add me to your author alert if you want to hear when it comes out.

Everyone, thanks for the reviews!

Peace, Frank S


	9. Review Response! part one

For all of you who may be wondering why I'm taking so long, I'm not lazy, I've been on vacation! Went to the Dells from Thursday until Sunday. You know... the Wisconsin Dells. I'm telling you this because I went to Ripley's believe it or not museum and... I SAW A REAL IRON MAIDEN! Holy shit! It looks just like the Iron maiden thing in the manga that Jeanne is in all the time! That was really cool. Anyway, I'm taking this chap. to respond to some reviews. and, no, reviews that read: "rofl", or "lmao" only will not be counted. It's nice of you to review, but something besides an abbreviation would be good. Now, on with the reviews!

Chapter 1 reviews

SilverWolf-Ryuki- yes, flames can be hilarious, and yes they do usually have bad grammar. Yes, Ren is a bit OOC, but it's the price I must pay. (sigh)

Miry- checks his story yup. I'm pretty sure I updated... NEXT!

existence92- yes. I rather like these pairings too. I'm making another story, as I wrote in my last chap, and it will have Horo and Tamao in it.

Wielder of paperclips- yup. Ren and Pirka arguments are funny as hell. That's why I did it.

rezibravo- I did that.

azimatiji- yeah, I put a lot of work into that argument... not really. lol. thanks!

Akisukie Hashimoto- it's short? I thought over 1,000 words per chapter was a lot... oh well. glad you like it anyway! a lot of people who think stories are short give up after the 1st sentence.

Chapter 2 reviews

blackyuki- great! I love it too! I did!

Idhira Morillo- Yay! Here! more chapters more chapters more chapters! WOO!

Yokai no Miko- thanks! glad you like it.

cathrun- update faster? I was pulling a chapter a day up until chap six. lol. glad you like it.

Exploded toilet bowl- yeah, she ran around with a towel, but ran by so fast, Horo couldn't register it completely.

Wielder of paperclips- I get everything about your review... except for the sap part. what the heck is a sap? and where is it in my story? isn't sap from a tree? I'm so confused!

Chapter 3 reviews

blackyuki- yeah, this story is rather weird! I'm glad you noticed!

pendulumxswing- yes, good and funny at the same time is exactly what I was going for!

Exploded toilet bowl- I'm not quite sure what kind of romance this is... maybe it's crazy romance?

Akisukie Hashimoto- to be honest with you... I didn't expect it either. I had writers block and I had nothing else I could think of. Yeah, I know, that can ruin the story. oh well!

cathrum- WAIT FOR MORE THAN A DAY! WAIT FOR MORE THAN A DAY! AGGGGH! THE PRESSURE!

SilverWolf-Ryuki- Yup. it's the price I pay. OOCness is a double edged sword.

Wielder of papercilps- Yeah, I did go into that pretty quick, huh? oh well, it's no huge deal. I just figured it would be better to have him apologize to her right away... and then I think about it... and that's not like Ren. lol. Glad you found it funny!

Chapter 4 reviews

blackyuki- hmm.. you're right, you don't say much, but it's more than "lmao" so it gets taken.

Tahmik Panda- Yeah! She did find out a secret! The hair thing is one of my favorite parts in this story. The plan is unraveling as we speak!

Indhira Morillo- I'll keep updating until it's over!

Exploded toilet bowl- yep, I feel kind of bad for him... but not really. I never expected to put Hao in the story, but I just suddenly decided to. And then I realized how badass Hao is, and how easy it is to use him as a character!

SilverWolf-Ryuki- yeah, I know it's a Kwan Dao, but... that takes more energy to write. lol. I'm so lazy. I really don't care about the update soon thing, but more about people who are like, UPDATE FASTER! GYAHHH! UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE! MUAHHHH!

Wielder of paperclips- I hate cliffies too! that's why I do them! so the world can feel my pain!

Those are half the reviews! when I finish, I'll write the other half. wait patiently for the rest of the story!

Oh yeah, since it seems ther is a new rule that I can't have a chapter consisting of only author notes...

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman king

Prelude to next chapter!

Ren and Pirka were still locked in the basement.

The end!

Frank S.


	10. Chapter 8

Wow. the responses from my fav. reviewer keep piling in. I'm not saying who this person is, cause everyone else might get jealous. Anyway, I apologize for the long wait, as I went out and bought Counterstrike, and have been playing it a lot. Now, onto the juicy goodness of my story!

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Disclaimer: Yes, we all know I don't own Shaman king. Leave me alone.

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Now, as we left off, Ren had just been tied to a chair with a champagne bottle stuffed into his mouth to keep him shut upped. Yoh was upstairs whipping everyone in DDR, and Pirka was simply enjoying her meal.

Returning to the present time...

Ren had finally been released after a muffled promise to be quiet. Of course, he never intended to keep that promise. The second he was free, he had gone into another rant about how freaking stupid Yoh was, and how he was going to kill him.

"Yoh is so freaking stupid! I'm gonna kill him!" Ren yelled, his tongari about to break through the roof.

"Ren! You promised you'd calm down!"

"Since when do I listen to you!"

"Since I found your diary."

Ren stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned to face her. "What do you mean by that..."

"I had no clue you had such an intricate mind, Ren. Also, I didn't know how much you hated cats."

"You... it was you who was in my room, wasn't it?"

"Yup, and it's all thanks to my intuition that I managed to find all this... Ren? What are you doing?"

Ren was slowly making his way toward her, murder in his eyes, his hair growing inches every second. "Just because I have no weapon, doesn't mean I'm not stronger than you."

"Umm... good point." Pirka thought aloud. "But you wouldn't kill me, right? We're friends, right? You're going to stop walking towards me, right? You're-" She was cut off when Ren flipped the table over and lowered his head so the point of his hair was aimed at her. "Guess not." Pirka uttered.

Note, this part of the story involves a very pissed off and OOC Ren, chasing around Pirka using his hair as a weapon. You have been warned. This scene has been rated FR for Freakin' Retarded

Ren charged at Pirka, his hair gleaming like a knife, his intentions to harm clear.

Pirka jumped out of harms way just in time, and Ren's hair pierced the wall behind her. She started running towards the door, when Ren suddenly screamed, SUPER TONGARI! His hair extended and sent him flying backwards until he was dangling right in front of Pirka with his arms crossed, his hair still stuck in the wall holding him up.

Pirka stared at him. "Ren! What big hair you have!"

Ren smirked back. "All the better to stab you with my dear." He de-extended (is that a word?) his hair and began to thrust it at her, in an attempt to harm her. He suddenly extended his hair and it stabbed through her jacket sleeve, and tore it.

Pirka stared at her sleeve and thought to herself, "This seems pretty serious." She looked back up at Ren, and then screamed out, "OKAY TAO! YOU RIPPED MY FAVORITE JACKET! NOW SUFFER MY WRATH!" She hauled back as hard as she could, and used her most sacred technique. "ALMIGHTY SLAP!"

KAPOW! Ren was sent flying across the room, a few of his teeth flying out of his mouth, and hitting the floor. he fell onto the ground, and his tongari shrivled up. "ow..." he whimpered.

Pirka smiled triumphantly. "How do ya like that! I learned it from Anna herself!" She quickly whipped around and blew on her throbbing hand. "owieowieowieowie!"

----------------------------------

Meanwhile, the force of the hit caused the Inn to shake, and Yoh lost control of his DDR concentration, causing him to lose to Hao.

"HEY! No fair! I call a rematch!"

The spirit of fire suddenly decided he wanted to try and lumbered toward the machine.

Hao gasped. "NO, BILLY! DON'T BE A HERO!" But it was too late. The spirit of fire took one step onto the machine... and smashed it flat.

Chocolove fell to the floor, tears streaming from his eyes. "NOOOOO! NOT MY DDR MACHINE!"

Yoh, meanwhile, stared at Hao. "Two questions. One, you call your spirit of fire Billy? And two, what the hell was that!"

Hao scratched his chin for a bit. "Well, Billy is much easier to say than spirit of fire because Billy only has two syllables, and spirit of fire has..." Hao clapped his hands while saying "spirit of fire" under his breath, a clap for each syllable, and said "Five. As for the noise, I'm guessing Pirka and Ren are having a hard time dealing with eachother.

"I'M HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH YOU REN!" Pirka screamed.

"Bingo." Hao smiled. "Anyway, I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong." Suddenly, a glass that just happened to be nearby cracked, and Hao stared at it. "That's funny... Oh well. Monopoly anyone?

"YAY!" Everyone yelled.

------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Ren had Pirka pinned on the floor, and was about to "kill" her, when suddenly, he noticed it was getting rather hot. He turned to look, and lo and behold! A fire had started in the basement. "How the hell did this happen!" Ren screamed, getting up off of Pirka.

"Oh my god!" She screamed. "Is there a way out!"

"Only if I can get through the door! And my idiot sister has it sealed off by talismans! But that still doesn't explain how..."

"Ren. The candles. You knocked them over when you flipped the table."

"Oh. Yeah. I forgot..."

"REN YOU IDIOT! We're gonna die and this is all your fault!"

"My fault! It's yours! Your the one who snuck into my room and read my diary!"

"Oh yeah! Well you-" Suddenly the fire reached the champagne that had been spilled onto the floor, and a small explosion resulted. Pirka fell back and Ren caught her.

"I just decided now is not the time to argue." Ren moved her out of the way of the flame and stepped in front of her. "Pirka, I don't want you to die, you know."

"Not even after what I did?"

"No. So I want you to know that I have a plan."

"You do?"

A support from the ceiling fell and blocked the path to the door off.

"Well, not anymore I don't."

"What was it anyway?"

"I was hoping to get the fire going right by the door. then the talismans would burn off, and we could get out... but seeing as we can't get to the door now... I have a new plan."

"Which is?"

"Protect you." Ren tackled her out of the way as another beam fell and just missed them both.

Pirka's eyes widened and she looked down at him. "Wh-What?"

"I know, I know. It's sappy, it's not like me, and it makes no sense. But hear me out. I don't hate you at all. I like you. a lot. and I know you probably don't feel the same, and I really don't care. As long as I know I'm not abandoning you or anything, I can die happy."

Pirka blushed, surprised at these compassionate words. Sappy, yes, but Ren really didn't have much talent for sounding romantic, and they were still compassionate. "But Ren.. I like you too. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

"So you like me."

"Yes."

"And that means my feelings are returned."

"Yes."

"And that means if I die, I AM abandoning you."

"Yes."

"Crap... New plan."

"What is it now?"

"Scream for help."

"Sounds good to me."

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Meanwhile...

Hao was singing the lyrics to one of his favorite songs. He had the mic plugged into a speaker, and had the music turned on full blast.

"WOW!" Yoh yelled over the music to Chocolove. "IT'S A GOOD THING REN AND PIRKA AREN'T IN TROUBLE! WE'D NEVER HEAR THEM IF THEY WERE YELLING FOR HELP"

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You know something? I don't like this chapter that much. I'm wrapping it up in the next chap before the plot gets ruined. Will Ren and Pirka survive? Will the ending be worth the wait? I sure hope so!

Anyhoo, please review. I don't expect TOO much positive feedback, so don't worry about hurting my feelings. ...  
Although I will be in a corner crying.

Peace.

Frank S


	11. I'm very sorry!

I want to apologize and explain why I haven't updated in so long. Simply put, I had no internet access for a span of around 3 weeks. I'm sorry for making you all wait so long. you'll be happy to know that I'm starting the next chapter as soon as I'm done with this. Just thought I'd fill you in on what was up.

Thanks for being so patient,

Frank S. 


	12. Chapter 9

Wow. I have been so frickin bored lately. To start, I couldn't access my account for some reason I can't understand. Secondly, I had writers block for 3 days cuz i couldn't figure out how to make Ren and Pirka live. I could kill them off, but that wouldn't do any good. So finally, I figured out what I wanted to do and now here you are. about to read the next chapter. I certainly hope it was worth the wait for you! Enjoy!

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Ren continued to kick at the door, his strikes becoming more and more erratic. "It can't end like this!"He thought to himself. "Not after admitting my feelings to Pirka and finding out she feels the same way! Not after everything I've been through! Not after I discovered that the greatest gift of all is inside of me!" Ren stopped for a minute to think. "Where the heck did that come from?"

"Look, Ren!" Pirka exclaimed. "It's Smokey!" The little kitten was indeed locked down there with them. The difference between Smokey andthe two humanswas...

"HEY!" Ren shouted. "I just had an idea! Do you thinkhe could slip through the crack below the door and get help?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to try at this point. GO GET HELP SMOKEY!" Pirka grabbed the kitten and shoved him under the door.

"Pirka..."

"Yeah?"

"uh... what makesus think Smokey is going to go get help? He can't understand english, much less know what we want him to do."

"Um... I kinda thought it would be like Lassie... you know? Little Timmy fell down the well kind of stuff?"

"Pirka?"

"Yes Ren?"

"WE'RE IDIOTS!"

"What did you just say about not arguing no more than 2 minutes ago!"

"I give up." Ren sighed and went back to kicking the door.

Meanwhile...

Unbelievably, Smokey had actually understood what Pirka said. If you recall, Ainu are extremely close with nature and the creatures living in them. Smokey knew what he had to do. He had to get help so he could save Pirka and the pointy haired guy. That guy was fun. I hope he feeds me when they get out. will he give me chicken? Or maybe beef? Maybe I'll get that special food with the gravy on it. that would be great.. I like the food with the gravy on it.

Smokey suddenly remembered what he had to do and stopped daydreaming about food. He took off running toward the room in which Yoh and all his other friends were.

"Hey look!" Yoh pointed. It's Smokey! I thought we locked him down in the basement with Ren and Pirka."

"We did." Hao stared at the cat.

"Why is his hair burnt slightly?" Horo asked.

"And why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?" Yoh asked.

"It could be because of the fact that if the cat is burned, that means there must be a fire down the basement." Hao thought aloud, his eyes getting a little bigger.

"AND THAT MEANS PIRKA IS IN DANGER!" Horo screamed

"What about Ren? he's in danger too." Yoh asked him

"Oh yeah... uh... Ren... THAT GUY TOO!" Horo took off running with Yoh and Hao in tow.

a few hours later...

"oh... the pain..." Yoh moaned. He was the first to notice he was in a full body cast, and Horo was next to him with the exact same problem. "What happened? I thought we were rescuing Ren and Pirka."

Anna just rolled her eyes and explained the whole thing to him. "Horo ran in screaming something about Ren keeping his hands off his sister, and started freezing the place down. You ran in, slipped on the ice, ran into Horo, knocked him over, and both of you fell down the stairs into a wall. Hao ended up saving all of you. Some fiance' you turned out to be, huh?"

Yoh chuckled. "Oh yeah, I remember that now."

Anna got up. "Anyway, I'm glad you're okay. get some sleep. you need it."

Yoh smiled. "yup. I will. Where's Amidamaru? I thought I had him with me..."

meanwhile...

"LORD YOH!" Amidamaru screamed with tears in his eyes. "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!" Yoh had accidently dropped Amidamaru when he fell, and the memorial tablet was still in the basement.

Back to Yoh...

"Oh well, I'm sure he's having a good time wherever he is." Yoh sighed. "You better get back to the inn. I'm sure SOMEONE has to oversee the damage control.

"Already taken care of." Anna smiled.

Meanwhile...

Manta and Ryu were sweeping up the huge mess, with anime tears in their eyes.

"THIS IS SO CRUEL!" They both cried out at once.

Returning to Yoh and Anna... and Horo...

"Wow. I guess that works." Yoh knew better than to argue with his fiancee'. "So what do you plan on doing?"

"I thought maybe I'd stay here. Make sure you don't get yourself killed." She smiled slightly.

"Sounds like a plan."

Their thoughts were interrupted when Tamao made her way into the room, carrying a basket of sweets with her.

"Oh! Hello Yoh-Sama, Lady Anna. How is everything?"

"Aside from the fact that I'm wrapped in a full body cast, I'm fine." Horo called out. "Thanks for asking."

Tamao giggled. "I didn't know you were awake. Here. I brought these for you."

"Yoh, how would you like to go get some lunch?" Anna asked, wanting to give the couple some privacy, and perhaps get some privacy of their own.

"Ah... no, thanks. I'm not very hung- OOF!" Anna had elbowed him in the ribs. She then proceeded to wheel him out of the room, waving to Tamao and Horo as a goodbye.

"You are so dense sometimes." Anna hissed at him.

"That really hurt..." You squeaked out as she wheeled him down the hall.

As soon as they were out of sight, Tamao flung herself at Horo, wrapping her arms around him happily.

"OW! OW! TAMAO! ACK!" Horo cried out, his body still in a lot of pain.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Tamao quickly loosened her grip, but went back to snuggling as soon as Horo calmed down. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Of course I'm okay. I'm an Ainu!" Horo stated proudly.

Tamao giggled. "I'll bet. Here, have some sweets. They're really good." Seeing as how Horo couldn't get them on his own, she popped one in his mouth.

Horo's eyes widened and he let out a sigh of happiness. "They are good!" Horo opened his mouth, signaling he wanted another. Instead, he got a quick kiss.

"Uh-uh. No more for now. You have to be careful about how many of these you eat at once. They're really rich. But I'm glad you like them. Wait until you get some real lunch, and then you can have another."

"But Tamao... so good..." Horo whined.

"I'll go get you some lunch!" Tamao pratically bounced out of the room. She liked this newfound power over him. But vowed not to overdo it.

Now, how about we return to the couple this fic is based off of?

Ren and Pirka had both been treated for smoke inhalation, and Ren had gotten treatment for a few small burns. Pirka was the first one into his room. Not surprising to her, he was watching TV.

"I could've sworn you said TV rotted your brain."

"You see anything else to do? Besides, who asked you?"

"Nobody asked me, and as for what to do, you could talk to me."

Ren smirked a bit and flicked off the TV. "alright, come here."

Pirka grinned happily and sat next to him in the bed. "How are you?"

"Just fine. Yourself?"

"Never better. Well, actually, nevermind. I'm alright though!" Pirka shifted uneasily. "Um... Ren, about what happened in the basement... did you really mean what you said? Because I did. But I'm not sure if you just said that out of panic, or you were having a moment, or..."

Ren cut her off by pulling her down next to him and pulling her into him. "I meant it." He pressed his lips against hers. The two of them were in their own world right now. No one else was there. It was just them, and nothing could ruin the moment. As a matter of fact, Ren was silently vowing to kill whoever dared to interrupt.

The two of them pulled away, and Pirka snuggled into Rens chest. "Do you think it was worth it? You know, having to get caught in a fire and all." She sighed as he held her close.

"I could have lived without the fire, but you know something, I could care less right now."

"Yeah."

"Besides, I got to show off. didn't I? If you think about it, you'd be dead without me."

Pirka pouted and hit him softly. "Come on, you know Smokey saved both our lives."

"I still hate that cat." Ren huffed.

"I'm sure you do." Pirka let out a giggle. "Especially after I saw you playing with him, and actually having fun with it."

Ren let out a little hmph. "Okay, so he's not that bad. Now let's just try to NOT argue for once."

Pirka looked up at him. This was something she never saw coming. The two of them, together after so long. Two people who used to hate eachother. Argued all the time, and seemingly never got along, had suddenly turned around and fallen in love. And the craziest part was, it took nearly 10 arguments a day, and a near death experience to get it out in the open.

"You know what, Ren?" Pirka asked.

"Hmm? What?" Ren looked at her.

"Love makes no sense."

"I know. It doesn't."

THE END

That's it! It's over! It long last! I really think I went out with a bang personally, but that's up to you to decide. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As I said a few chapters back, keep an eye out for upcoming fanfiction from me. I want to thank all of you for reviewing, and reading my story. Oh, and so there isn't another mix up, I'm a guy. not a girl.

Thanks for reading,  
Frank S.


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